The ‘you don’t know what pain is until you have given birth’ syndrome


You know how it is – one day you are not feeling too well – a bit of pain in your tummy or a sore throat – and you mention it to your female partner who immediately dismisses your suffering with ‘You don’t know what pain is until you have gone through childbirth!’ The constant dismissal by females of male suffering can be very irritating. One thing that you have to remember is that your female partner does not want to be your mother or your nursemaid. Your female partner may often act and speak like your mother but she does not want to be your substitute mother. The male who is constantly whining about petty illness is perceived by females as weak. Many males, when they feel ill, want some feminine sympathy from their partner and they may exaggerate their symptoms to try and provoke such a response. But in doing so they are presenting themselves as weak and placing their female partners into the mother/nurse role.

So, the first lesson is not to whine, moan and complain about petty illnesses. To do so makes you appear weak and unattractive.

If your female partner constantly uses the ‘no pain like childbirth’ syndrome then there are three approaches that you can take:

1) You can point out her constant use of the syndrome:

M: ‘Oh no! Not the ‘no pain like childbirth’ syndrome again! Have we got anything more original?’

2) You can respond in kind:

F:  ‘You don’t know what pain is until you have given birth!’

M: ‘No! You don’t know what pain is until you have been kicked in the balls!’

3) You can use her own strategy against her. When she is poorly and wants a cup of tea in bed and a bit of sympathy then you can say:

M: ‘Come on! Get a grip! You gone through childbirth so this is nothing in comparison to that! Get yourself up and make you own tea!’


About Robert Laynton

Robert Laynton has a B.Sc.(Hons.) degree in psychology and was a member of the British Psychological Society, becoming a member of their Transpersonal Psychology Division and a contributor to their Journal, 'The Transpersonal Review'. He also gained a Post Graduate Certificate and Diploma in counselling. He likes photography, walking, jazz, reading American Crime Fiction from the 40's, 50's and 60's and enjoys watching older films, especially film noir. He lives in England.
This entry was posted in Females, Girlfriends, Guide, Illness, Male female, male female relationships, Males, Pain, Relationships, Understanding women, Wife, Wives, Women and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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