Always doing as you are told?

Over-eager

Do you sometimes feel as though you are at her beck and call? ‘Do this, pass me that, go and do the other’? Here is a little power play that you can try.

If she asks you to hand her something – anything – a spoon, a cup, a newspaper – anything, something she wants or something that she has dropped on the floor, such that you have to take a few steps towards her to give her the requested item, then, if at that moment you feel that you are becoming her slave/errand boy and that she is taking advantage of your good nature, you can hold out your hand with the item that she wants, take half a step back, and make her come and take it out of your hand.

If this is a lighthearted situation, then you can have a wry smile on your face. If she is trying a power play on you and trying to dominate you, then you keep a very straight face – no smiles or sense of humor. Once she steps forward to take the item from your hand, you are ‘one up’ and if you are not one up, then you are ‘one down’.

She may of course play the ‘chivalry/gentleman’ card by saying that a ‘gentleman’ would walk over and give her the item she wants and that this would be the ‘chivalrous’ thing to do. In this case you can remind her that she has to earn chivalrous gestures by being a ‘good girl’ and that you do not and never have claimed to be a ‘gentleman’.

Want to see it in action? Here it is

 

 

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About Robert Laynton

Robert Laynton has a B.Sc.(Hons.) degree in psychology and was a member of the British Psychological Society, becoming a member of their Transpersonal Psychology Division and a contributor to their Journal, 'The Transpersonal Review'. He also gained a Post Graduate Certificate and Diploma in counselling. He suffers from Bipolar Affective Disorder. He likes photography, walking, listening to jazz, reading American Crime Fiction from the 40's, 50's and 60's and enjoys watching older films, especially film noir. He lives in England.
This entry was posted in Being a gentleman, Chivalry, male female relationships, Power plays, Relationships and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

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