Category Archives: Movie Male Exemplars

Male exemplars in the movies: Victor in Mr Selfridge

Victor is the waiter in Selfridges restaurant. His love interest is the main female character Agnes, who is also an employee at Selfridges. Victor is a fine example of someone who alternates between Adult and Parent orientations. In Adult orientation he is an ambitious man – he understands the restaurant business and he is keen to open his own restaurant. But he does not have enough money to purchase any premises. Continue reading

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Male exemplars in the movies: The devilish rogue

Here is a scene between Gable as the roguish Rhett Butler and Leigh as the feisty O’Hara from ‘Gone with the Wind’. I strongly recommend Margaret Mitchell’s book to all guys out there. The dynamic between different types of males and females is well explored and there are many lessons that guys can learn. Gone with the wind is set in the period of the American Civil War in the 1860’s.
Gable’s character has just returned from Paris and he has bought Leigh’s character the gift of a bonnet – the very latest in Paris fashion. Gable adopts a Parent orientation to Leigh’s female Child. Gable’s character is passionate, mature, devilish and worldly-wise. Leigh’s character is feisty, fiery, full of energy and so on. She is the little princess who every man wants to be with. Continue reading

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Movies for men

Movies are not real: they deal with fictional characters in fictional situations. Some deal with fantasy characters in fantasy situations. A bunch of writers have carefully written the dialogue and the film crew, stars and director have orchestrated the whole scene. If we dismiss male caricature and fantasy, and recognise the team effort that has gone into the movie, even though we are still left with fictional characters, us guys can see some of the techniques and attitudes that we can adopt and can seek to model in our relationships with the women in our lives. Continue reading

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Male exemplars in the movies: Sugar Daddy and Protector

Used sparingly, the ‘Sugar Daddy’ role can be used to great effect. Used too often and the male is in effect buying the company, loyalty and so on of the female. Used to excess, the male is placing the female into a dependent [Child] position by the fact that he constantly adopts a [Parent] superior orientation in relation to her. When taken to excess, he not only buys her loyalty and dependency, but he also robs her of her choices.

In this clip we see a great example of a more beneficent and appropriate ‘Sugar Daddy’
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