Do you sometimes call the female in your life ‘Princess’, or ‘My Princess’? Then stop it immediately!!! What on earth are you doing? You may think that you are conveying to her how ‘special’ she is to you but I’ll tell you what you are doing – you are creating trouble for yourself!!! When you call your girlfriend or wife ‘my Princess’ you are immediately placing yourself one down. The score is 1 – 0 to her. It’s an own goal!
For ‘Princess’ read ‘spoiled brat’. The ‘Princess’ is the little child who wants all her own way – she thinks that she is worth it – she thinks she deserves all her own way as a right. This is related to the idea of chivalry – you think that by calling her a ‘Princess’ you are demonstrating your chivalry, that you are her ‘knight in shining armor’. Come here son, let me slap your face! Good ol’ Sir Walter Raleigh placed his coat over the puddle for Queen Elizabeth to walk on – if you keep acting in this chivalrous manner to your ‘princess’ then you will end up not just with mud on your coat but on your face as well! The principle of chivalry is that SHE HAS TO EARN IT!!!!
When you call your girlfriend or wife your ‘Princess’ you are reinforcing the idea in her head that she has the right to special, privileged treatment all the time, and when she doesn’t get it, out come the peevish, spoiled, temper tantrums of the ‘little girl’ who wants to rule the roost – and your life. Take a look at the photo above – Have you seen that expression on your partner’s face? If you have and you have tried to appease her then there you are – one down!
Your aim is always to be one up – If you are not one up then you are one down! By calling her a ‘Princess’ you are putting YOURSELF one down, you are placing yourself at a disadvantage. Unfortunately, others may have got there before you – doting fathers who have called their little girl a ‘Princess’ for all of their lives. So much so that the female actually believes that this is their role when it comes to relationships. So, get a grip and check out our books to discover how to deal with the ‘princess syndrome’. Remember – you are not a ‘Prince’ – you are ‘King’ of your own domain!!!
Posted in Chivalry, Females, Little Princess syndrome, Male female, male female relationships, Power plays
Tagged Being a gentleman, Chivalry, facial expressions, little princess, Little Princess syndrome, Nice guy, Understanding women
Do you sometimes feel as though you are at her beck and call? ‘Do this, pass me that, go and do the other’? Here is a little power play that you can try.
If she asks you to hand her something – anything – a spoon, a cup, a newspaper – anything, something she wants or something that she has dropped on the floor, such that you have to take a few steps towards her to give her the requested item, then, if at that moment you feel that you are becoming her slave/errand boy and that she is taking advantage of your good nature, you can hold out your hand with the item that she wants, take half a step back, and make her come and take it out of your hand.
If this is a lighthearted situation, then you can have a wry smile on your face. If she is trying a power play on you and trying to dominate you, then you keep a very straight face – no smiles or sense of humor. Once she steps forward to take the item from your hand, you are ‘one up’ and if you are not one up, then you are ‘one down’.
She may of course play the ‘chivalry/gentleman’ card by saying that a ‘gentleman’ would walk over and give her the item she wants and that this would be the ‘chivalrous’ thing to do. In this case you can remind her that she has to earn chivalrous gestures by being a ‘good girl’ and that you do not and never have claimed to be a ‘gentleman’.
Want to see it in action? Here it is
You know how it is – one day you are not feeling too well – a bit of pain in your tummy or a sore throat – and you mention it to your female partner who immediately dismisses your suffering with ‘You don’t know what pain is until you have gone through childbirth!’ The constant dismissal by females of male suffering can be very irritating. One thing that you have to remember is that your female partner does not want to be your mother or your nursemaid. Your female partner may often act and speak like your mother but she does not want to be your substitute mother. The male who is constantly whining about petty illness is perceived by females as weak. Many males, when they feel ill, want some feminine sympathy from their partner and they may exaggerate their symptoms to try and provoke such a response. But in doing so they are presenting themselves as weak and placing their female partners into the mother/nurse role.
So, the first lesson is not to whine, moan and complain about petty illnesses. To do so makes you appear weak and unattractive.
If your female partner constantly uses the ‘no pain like childbirth’ syndrome then there are three approaches that you can take:
1) You can point out her constant use of the syndrome:
M: ‘Oh no! Not the ‘no pain like childbirth’ syndrome again! Have we got anything more original?’
2) You can respond in kind:
F: ‘You don’t know what pain is until you have given birth!’
M: ‘No! You don’t know what pain is until you have been kicked in the balls!’
3) You can use her own strategy against her. When she is poorly and wants a cup of tea in bed and a bit of sympathy then you can say:
M: ‘Come on! Get a grip! You gone through childbirth so this is nothing in comparison to that! Get yourself up and make you own tea!’
Posted in Females, Girlfriends, Guide, Illness, Male female, male female relationships, Males, Pain, Relationships, Understanding women, Wife, Wives, Women
Tagged Advice, females, Illness, Living with females, male guide, Pain, Relationships, Self-help, Suffering, Understanding women