Men!! Body hair – To wax or wax not

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Feminists and real men

Females thought the last victory of equality was to make males more ‘sensitive’. The bitter irony, is that females don’t like wimps after all… At a dinner party recently, I encountered the depressingly familiar sight of a dynamic thirty-something female accompanied by a nerdy male sidekick that she’d browbeaten into proposing to her. The mismatch in power was obvious. She was successful, ambitious and confident; he was a diffident, overweight, shrinking violet who measured every word he spoke in case he said anything remotely contentious that might offend her. On her wedding finger was the most enormous, glittering engagement ring. A mutual friend later told me she’d initially been presented with a less garish but more exquisite diamond but had told her fiancé to return it to the shop and get her something bigger. That huge diamond was his declaration of surrender in the sex war. He should have been man enough to tell her to get lost and find some other dummy. Instead, he’d been sucker-punched into a lifetime of nagging and neglect and looking at his bossy wife-to-be parading her huge rock, I felt a shiver of pre-emptive schadenfreude. Her smug smile might have given the impression that her glossy-magazine-inspired life was all going to plan, but I could see the tragedy to come.

One day she’ll realize how dull and unfulfilling it is to have a male who doesn’t answer back, who offers no challenge or danger – but by then she’ll be over the hill and stuck with him for fear of being left on the shelf.

Back in the Nineties, emboldened by the successes of feminism, females sought to slay the dragon of patriarchy by turning males into ridiculous wimps who would cry with them through chick-flicks and then cook up a decent lasagne. Suddenly, females wanted to drive home their new-found equality by moulding males to be more like them.

This velvet revolution was reflected in a series of broader cultural changes. After decades of uncompromising movie heroes like Clark Gable and Robert Mitchum, we were asked to fall for stuttering, floppy-haired fops like Hugh Grant; touchy-feely and hopelessly embarrassed around females. No doubt at the time, millions of misguided single females thought that having a male who could feel their pain and emote for their country was a good thing. Now, females are waking up to the fact that these males are drippy, sexless bores. The feminization of males hasn’t produced the well-rounded uber-males that females were hoping for. Instead, females are now lumped with flabby invertebrates, little more than doormats, who they secretly despise but are too proud to admit it.

Rather than partnership, professional females tend to seek dominance in a relationship. They map their lives out early on and pursue their dream of ‘having it all’ with cold-blooded ruthlessness. Young females have a crystal-clear agenda: they want the career, the wardrobe, the smartly furnished house, the 4 x 4 and the cute kids they’ll ferry in it to expensive schools. No male is going to get in their way; and the male they choose for themselves are pliant and feeble enough to facilitate that programme.

Concentrating so much energy on work and family matters requires these females to pick a male who is predictable and secure, who won’t upset the apple cart by pursuing dreams and instincts of his own. These are cardboard cut-out males who gush with empathy whenever their wives and girlfriends need to dump their professional stresses and female angst on them: weak and soulless males who haven’t the guts to make a mark themselves, who take the passenger seat in their female partner’s juggernaut journey to feminist Nirvana.

But having ticked off the various items on their life checklist, females are left with a nagging sense of dissatisfaction. Where was the drama? Where was the passion? Where was the stimulation and growth? It was all forsaken for an anodyne, materialistic shopping spree. These females consider themselves to be alpha-females, but they are nothing but a pathetic sham. A true Amazon couldn’t stand the company of a supplicant male, let alone marry one. Real alpha-females are the ones who can more than hold their own with an alpha-male.

Deep down, females love males who stand up to them and who won’t be pushed around. They love males who will look them in the eye and tell them to shut up when their hormonal bickering has become too much. They love males who will draw a line in the sand and walk out on them when they’ve had enough. They love males who know their own minds and are man enough to stick to their guns.

I’m always telling my wife to shut up. She gets into a prissy huff about it, but I know she respects me for not indulging her neuroticism. Long ago, I realised it is unhealthy for a man to embroil himself in arguments with women. While men want an argument to make sense and have a rational conclusion, females solely want the argument itself: it’s a pressure valve for their emotions, and once they get started there is no stopping them. I have a very low boredom threshold; I can’t bear having protracted discussions about where my wife and I ‘are going’. Nor can I bear to listen to the gossipy, highly detailed ‘He said, she said’ monologues that females drift into when telling you about their day. I deal with these elements of the female personality with impassive indifference. People might call me a sexist pig, but I am the opposite. I love females, and I love my wife because she is brilliant and incredibly strong. I only want to be with a powerful and capable woman. No sexist could cope with having a wife as intelligent and independent as mine. Our relationship would never have worked had I been an effete New Man, desperately wanting to sympathise with the female condition. My wife would have grown to loathe me for my fawning cowardice. She is a warrior and she needs to be with someone who is a match for her. Knowing the limits of what I will deal with in a relationship, I maintain my self-respect and, accordingly, gain hers.

Males are now generally terrified of women. They hold their tongues for fear of being misinterpreted as sexist; they constantly attempt to second-guess their partner in order to avoid giving offence. They preen themselves with groaning shelves full of beauty products so they won’t incur derision and scorn. They suppress their masculinity and present themselves as cuddly Mr Nice Guys, and won’t project self-confidence in case it’s regarded as unreconstructed machismo.

This backfiring feminist conspiracy has, of course, developed hand in hand with the march of raging political correctness. The two have combined like some potent chemical reaction to explode in the faces of a generation of females who thought that a ‘moulded’ male would make for a desirable one.

In recent years, males have been trained like circus seals to be inoffensive to females, and no longer know how to entice them and turn them on. But women secretly long for a man with swagger, who is cocky and self-assured and has the cheek to stand up them and make fun of their feminine foibles. They long for the rakish charm of a man who knows there’s a whole ocean of fish out there, who isn’t afraid of being himself in case he is rejected. The truth is, a real man doesn’t care what any woman thinks of him. He doesn’t care what anyone thinks of him: he answers solely to his spirit. Real men don’t pretend or even try to understand females. They simply love them for being the mysterious, capricious creatures that they are. And they don’t take them too seriously, either. They know the vicissitudes of the female mind, its constant insecurities and the fluctuations in mood. Rather than pander to them, they simply watch them drift by like so many clouds on the horizon. They don’t get entangled in a female’s feelings and listen to her prattling on and on until she’s talked herself out. Such strong and stoic men are exactly what females need to anchor themselves amid the chaos of their emotions.

Sometimes my wife bemoans my detachment and laissez-faire attitude to our marriage and wishes I were more wrapped up in her. I tell her she would soon get bored of it, because males who put women on a pedestal can’t make love to them in the way that women want. A male who is too in awe of his female isn’t going to tear her blouse open and ravish her on the couch; he isn’t going to pull her hair and whisper profanities in her ear. Whenever my marriage is at a crisis point and my wife’s ego and mine are jostling for a position of supremacy, we inevitably have strenuous, battling sex. My wife is older and more successful than I am, but the bedroom has always been the arena in which I have brought her down to earth. The female orgasm is the natural mechanism by which men assert dominion over women: a man who appreciates this can negotiate whatever difficulties arise in his relationships with them.

Last Christmas, my wife threw me out after discovering I’d been cheating on her. On the night we got back together, I made strong, passionate love to her. Unfaithful as I’d been, I was not going to let her have me over a barrel for the rest of our marriage. I needed to keep a sense of self and not allow her to mire me in guilt and a desperate quest of forgiveness. I needed to let her know what she would be missing if we broke up for ever. I gave her a manful bravura performance that night, and at the height of her passion, I asked her: ‘Who’s the boss?’ The question threw her. Initially she wouldn’t give me a reply, but I enticed it from her. ‘You are,’ she finally gasped. ‘You are!’

I am a very difficult man to be with. I know I have caused my wife great pain and anxiety. But she is an adult and ultimately it is wholly her choice whether she wants to be with me or not – I cannot be anyone other than myself. I don’t believe in working on relationships and making artificial efforts to give them substance. I believe in people being themselves and following their hearts towards whatever destiny lies before them.

When females choose to be with ‘New Men’, they are choosing a life that will be only half-lived. I think a lot of them are finally waking up to that fact. Relationships between independent and assertive people will always be fraught with tensions, but they have enormous creative energy. Despite the many problems my wife and I have endured, we have both come a long way since we first met six years ago. We have challenged one another to grow – professionally, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. This would never have happened had she flaked out and gone for a softer option in her choice of partner.

Bring back the real men, girls. You might just remember why you loved them in the first place.

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Male exemplars in the movies: Victor in Mr Selfridge

O.K. Not so much a movie as T.V. Series but for our purposes, film and television serve the same purposes. Mr. Selfridge was a recent British Television series. For those of you who may have the DVD, the characters Victor, Agnes and Lady Mae are worthy of note.

In series one, Victor is the waiter in Selfridges restaurant. His love interest is the main female character Agnes, who is also an employee at Selfridges. Victor is a fine example of someone who alternates between Adult and Parent orientations. In Adult orientation he is an ambitious man – he understands the restaurant business and he is keen to open his own restaurant. But he does not have enough money to purchase any premises.

His work as a waiter meanwhile means that he gets to meet some well-to-do females. Some of these females, on the pretext of having some sort of social function at their home, invite their favorite waiters to prepare and serve the food at such functions – though it is really the ‘desserts’ that they are interested in. For the waiters, a bit of ‘Totty’ on the side is seen as a perk of their job. Victor however is not interested in such perks – his affections are directed to Agnes.

Our waiter-hero then meets ‘Lady Mae’ a well-to-do female who is estranged from her husband and quite happy to be having relationships with a string of ‘toy boys’. Sure enough, he is invited to ‘cater’ to her needs. Victor however is more interested in her as a potential partner for his business ambitions. In Adult orientation he makes a serious business proposal to her – an equal partnership in a proposed restaurant business – he finds the premises and provides the expertise to run it while she provides the money to purchase the premises and equipment and to get the business going. She seems amenable to this suggestion and since Agnes seems to have another love interest, Victor also becomes Lady Mae’s lover. He starts looking for suitable premises for the business venture.

At the end of series one, he finds a suitable premises in Soho, one that has to have an offer made on it quite quickly, or else it will be lost to someone else. In Adult orientation, as logical, rational businessman, he approaches Lady Mae for her promised finances. But she hesitates and delays, and Victor realises that her promise of money has been something of a ploy to get him into bed with her. Such things are just not tolerated in the Adult orientation. In Adult orientation, everything is open, straightforward and above-board. There is no underhandedness or deceit. The Adult orientation is all about fairness, honesty, openness, rationality and so on. Lady Mae has broken the unspoken contract that Victor thought that they had agreed upon.

He now moves to Parent orientation in order to take charge of the situation and he uses the withdrawal sanction to deal with Lady Mae’s unacceptable behaviour: he walks out on her. She will not get him into her bed again.

The next day, realising that she is in danger of losing him, she turns up at the restaurant in Selfridges. She offers him the money that he needs in order to begin to realise his business ambitions. Left at this, this could have been an Adult to Adult exchange and the basis of a business contract. However Lady Mae makes the fatal mistake of moving to Parent orientation. ‘You can have the money today…..but you will be beholden to me for the rest of your life.’ she whispers to him. In other words, she is giving the money as a favour and she will constantly remind him of what a favour she has done him and call in favours from him from time to time in return. If Victor accepts her money in order to realise his ambitions, he will forever be one down in their relationship. Remember, this is not what he was asking for – he was asking for an equal partnership.

Once again, Lady Mae’s behaviour is unacceptable and it is dealt with by use of the withdrawal sanction – Victor moves to Parent orientation and refuses to take her money. She has lost any power that she thought she had over him and also lost his respect, friendship and love. He walks away. Victor is the victor!

Things to note:

Victor is well-dressed and presents himself very well

The greatest weapon males have in relationships with females is their ability to withdraw.

Certain aspects of the relationship, such as finances, have to be approached with both partners in Adult orientation.

Females often move to Parent orientation in order to try and get one up on the male. In such cases, the male must also move to Parent orientation and take charge of his own life and maintain the boundaries of the relationship.

Get to know how to dance

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Male exemplars in the movies: The devilish rogue

Clark Gable as Rhett Butler and Vivienne Leigh as Scarlett O’Hara in Gone with the Wind’

The great thing about Clark Gable is that he is not ridiculously handsome and good-looking, which gives hope for us ordinary guys out there. Gable had big ears and false teeth and was originally rejected by one of the studios because he looked ‘like a monkey’. What Gable had though was charisma – personality. A number of his movies in the mid to late thirties and early forties are worth watching, but this is his most famous role. In real life he was a man’s man and attractive to women and despite being married, he did not remain monogamous. His wife knew that for her to insist on his remaining exclusively faithful to her would be to lose him. So, Gable is interesting for a number of reasons.

Here is a scene between Gable as the roguish Rhett Butler and Leigh as the feisty Scarlett O’Hara in ‘Gone with the Wind’. I strongly recommend Margaret Mitchell’s book to all you males out there. The dynamic between different types of males and females is explored very well and there are many lessons that males can learn. Gone with the wind is set in the period of the American Civil War in the 1860’s. It is by no means merely a piece of women’s romantic fiction.

In this clip, Gable’s character has just returned from Paris and he has bought Leigh’s character the gift of a bonnet – the very latest in chic Paris fashion. Gable adopts a Parent orientation to Leigh’s female Child orientation. Gable’s character is passionate, mature, devilish and worldly-wise. He is what many today would call a ‘bad boy’. Leigh’s character is feisty, fiery, full of energy and so on. She is the little princess who every man wants to be with.

Taking into account the fact that this is a period drama, Gable’s character is well dressed and his hair is neat and appropriate for his age. His self-presentation is immaculate. As with many desirable characters in fiction, Gable’s character is wealthy. He is a self-made man, successful in his business schemes.

His Parental orientation is indicated both by what he says and his tone of voice. He is knowledgeable about the latest women’s fashions – Leigh’s character is not so well up on fashion as she thinks she is. Gable’s character is not slow or shy in giving his opinions. In Parental tones, Gable starts to lecture her on what is wrong with the way she is dressed. Catching a glimpse of her underwear, he basically tells her that her undergarments are out of fashion, thus introducing a more intimate level of conversation. Leigh, in Child orientation, falls for it and excitedly starts to inquire what the latest fashions in underwear are, but then she catches herself – she does not want to be beholden to a man so she attempts to adopt a Parent orientation – though she is more like a precocious, bossy Child – and in ‘superior’ tones she criticizes Gable and disapprovingly says that he should not know about such things as women’s underwear.

Gable’s character stays in Parent orientation and criticizes her in return: ‘You little hypocrite! You don’t mind me knowing about them (underwear), just talking about them!’ Thus her attempt to criticize him is immediately countered and put down but it is diffused with laughter and humour. The humour has the effect of showing that her criticism rolls off him like water off a duck’s back and gives the sense that he indulges her attempt at criticism and finds such tactics amusing – like watching a child at play. She is being taken away from Parent orientation back to Child by him.

At the failure of this ploy, Leigh’s character then changes tactics. ‘I can’t go on accepting these gifts – though you are awfully kind.’ Now she attempts to soothe his male vanity by praising him in telling him how kind he is. [The male vanity trap] Once again, Gable’s character dismisses this praise immediately. He not only puts himself down so that he cannot be knocked off any pedestal that she tries to put him on, but he also declares his more intimate intentions quite openly: ‘I am not kind, I am just tempting you. I never give anything without expecting something in return and I always get paid.’ Gable’s character remains in control of the situation – he knows what he is doing and why. He is buying her gifts in order to tempt her into a relationship with him. These ‘gifts’ are not free – he expects payment. Here, he is setting the boundaries of the relationship, setting out the nature of what he expects from her.

Leigh responds by suggesting what the payment might be. ‘I am not going to marry you just because you have bought a bonnet.’ Gable’s character remains in Parent orientation. It is he who will decide what the payment will be – she will not define it. She dangles the idea of marriage as a reward, dangling it as bait, but then immediately withdraws it. A weak man might leap at this suggestion by the most desirable female in the South  – ‘Marry me? Would you?’ Make no mistake, Gable’s character wants her, but to leap at the bait of her suggestion is a weak ploy placing him at a disadvantage and making him beholden to her. Her suggestion of marriage is also an example of female Child Vanity. She is saying ‘You will have to buy me more things than this if you want to marry me – I am worth it!’  So rather, Gable’s character rejects her suggestion immediately and puts down her vanity: ‘Don’t flatter yourself – I am not the marrying kind’.

In response, Leigh’s character suggests another, lesser reward – a kiss. ‘Well, I won’t kiss you for it either.’ She is still trying to define the payment for the bonnet and she wants him to kiss her, so of course, using female logic, she says the opposite. Gable turns to her with his Parental smile and a quip on the tip of his tongue and then his passion for her almost gets the better of him. He wants to kiss her too and for a moment he almost does. His facial expression changes to one of manly, lustful desire and he takes hold of her. She closes her eyes and half smiles in anticipation of the kiss  – and victory. But he sees the trap and returns to Parent orientation immediately. Yes, he wants to kiss her, but it will be on his terms, not hers. He will not be trapped into it.

Her behaviour in seeking to entrap him into a kiss is unacceptable So he pulls back.[Withdrawal sanction] ‘No, I don’t think I will kiss you – though you need kissing and badly….’ He then gives her a Parental lecture on how she needs kissing and kissing often by someone who knows how and that this is what is wrong with her. Note that he has also withdrawn his sense of humour. He is like a father telling off a naughty child.

She makes an attempt to soothe his vanity again.  [The male vanity trap] ‘I suppose that you are the man to do it!’ Once again, Gable’s character does not fall for the trap and so he does not boast of his own ability. He does not deny his virility either but rather leaves an air of sexual mystery: ‘I might be. If the right moment ever came.’

Seeing that her [Childish] ploys have failed, Leigh’s character falls back to insulting Gable as she turns away and calls him conceited and a black-hearted varmint and wonders why she bothered to see him. [Child tantrum]

The Parental smile returns to Gable’s face. ‘I’ll tell you why you see me. Because I am the only man under under 60 and older than 16 who knows how to show you a good time!’ Once again, Gable’s character is in command and suggesting an edgy excitement. Devilish men are often accused of being arrogant and conceited. In many ways, they are neither. What they do possess is an attitude of self-determination. They know their own mind and they stick to it. They are pro-active and set their own agenda. When the female fails to distract him or fails to swerve him from his course, when her ploys and wiles fail, they call him arrogant. When a man respects himself, they call him conceited.  The secret for the male is to have self-respect but not to openly boast about their sexual prowess, skills, knowledge or abilities. To do so, is to fall into the male vanity trap.

Things to learn:

Pay strict attention to self-presentation and clothes

You have an advantage if you are wealthy and/or successful at business

Be aware of women’s fashions such that you can give a woman advice on clothes – subtle talk of underwear, if the situation naturally warrants it, suggests intimacy or sex

Stay in Parental orientation with a female who is in Child orientation

Female criticism can be offset by humour, smiles, laughter and so on

Female criticism can be offset by adopting a superior [Parent] orientation

Never accept praise from a female: [The male vanity trap] Puncture the balloon of your own ego and vanity.

Your gifts to her are not free – tell her that you expect payment and you always get it

You define what the payment is – not her.

You define the boundaries of your relationship – what is acceptable and what is not

Your greatest strength is your ability to withdraw – to withdraw your presence, your humour, your kisses, your gifts, your texts, whatever. Unacceptable female behaviour always incurs a withdrawal sanction.

Be passionate and edgy

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Movies for men

Movies are not real: they deal with fictional characters in fictional situations. Some deal with fantasy characters in fantasy situations. A bunch of writers have carefully written the dialogue and the film crew, stars and director have orchestrated the whole scene. If we dismiss male caricature and fantasy, and recognise the team effort that has gone into the movie, even though we are still left with fictional characters, us guys can see some of the techniques and attitudes that we can adopt and can seek to model in our relationships with the women in our lives.

The male’s approach and attitude to the females in his life are explored in some detail in the book ‘Staying on top of your woman’. In the film clips picked for this blog, we can see some of these approaches and qualities that are discussed in the book being demonstrated and modelled for us, so that we have an opportunity to use them as exemplars that we can try to emulate or mimic in our own lives and relationships. As they say, a picture speaks a thousand words.

So we are not interested in action adventure movies here. Forget Arnie and Sly and Bruce Willis. Forget Jimmy Bond and Rambo. Forget the ridiculously handsome and wealthy George Clooney – we are probably not that good looking or rich – right? These are more ordinary guys and more subtle films.

Many of these films are older, classic films. This is partly because in redefining women, feminists have caused a redefining of men – something that we reject here in favour of the classical man. Also, the older films are often more subtle. Despite dated technology and other shortcomings, these clips still portray a desirable image of manhood. So you need to get past the old technology in order to get to the core of what is going on. Older fashion styles need to be recognized also for example, though the behaviour and dialogue of the male should not be dismissed because the characters on screen have dated fashions or are dressed in period costumes.

For each of the clips I have included some analysis of the scene – pointing out the context, desirable and undesirable qualities of the male’s appearance and behaviour, together with some of the fictional assumptions that make the scene work.

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Male exemplars in the movies: Sugar Daddy and Protector

Male exemplars in the movies: Lee Marvin with Sissy Spacek in ‘Prime Cut’

Movies are not real: they deal with fictional characters in fictional situations. A bunch of writers have carefully written the dialogue and the film crew, stars and director have orchestrated the whole scene. Even so, us guys can see techniques and attitudes being demonstrated that we can adopt and can seek to model in our relationships with the women in our lives.

One of the roles that a male can adopt with the female in his life is that of ‘Sugar Daddy’. The ‘Sugar Daddy’ adopts a Parental orientation towards the female taking the female ‘under his wing’ as it were, leading her and giving her a reassuring sense of protection. Used sparingly, the ‘Sugar Daddy’ role can be used to great effect. Used too often however and the male is in effect buying the company, loyalty and so on of the female. Used to excess, the male is continually placing the female into a dependent [Child] position by the fact that he constantly adopts a [Parent] superior orientation in relation to her. When taken to excess in this way, he not only buys her loyalty and dependency, but he also robs her of her freedom of choice.

In this clip we see a great example of a more beneficent and appropriate ‘Sugar Daddy’ in Lee Marvin’s character, since the Sissy Spacek character has been established earlier as an innocent but vulnerable female, who Marvin has rescued. Certainly, there are aspects of the ‘sugar daddy’ here that we guys can copy in our relationships with females. This is the male as leader and protector. Here are some observations:

Notice firstly that Marvin’s character is well off – he is not short of money. You need to be wealthy relative to the female if you are going to be her ‘sugar daddy’. The danger is that if you adopt this role right from the start and continue in this role, then you have to buy more and more expensive presents to keep her in tow. Here, Marvin is immaculately turned out – conservatively and smartly dressed in suit, shirt, tie and shoes which are all colour coordinated and well-fitting. Similarly, his hair is smartly cut and suits a man of his age. We are also in a top class hotel and a smart restaurant. Being a ‘sugar daddy’  all of the time is expensive – so expensive that you are probably better buying the services of a female escort – at least you can have some variety as you please. Putting aside such considerations, this clip gives an example of the male in Parent orientation – masterly and protective.

He escorts Spacek into the restaurant, and is very much in charge as he approaches the waiter. Marvin makes the decisions. The camera cuts to three women sitting at a table [all of them in Critical Parent orientation]. They are quick to share their shock and outrage at the way Spacek is dressed and to pass judgment on her.

Marvin escorts Spacek to the table. The camera cuts to a husband and wife. The husband cannot take his eyes off Spacek.

Marvin allows the waiters to fuss around the table and again takes the lead, making the decisions for Spacek. ‘Yes, we will have dinner.’. Then he makes the choice for Spacek with regards to what she is going to have for starters, though he does so in way whereby he uses non verbal communication to check with her that his choice for her is O.K. by her. ‘I believe the lady will have the Consomme.’ Marvin has taken command in a subtle and considerate way.

Seeing that Spacek is a little overawed by her surroundings, Marvin puts her at ease with subtle, non-verbal humour, bringing a reassuring smile to her face. Unsure of the etiquette concerning the cutlery, Marvin again puts her at ease subtly and with humour using non-verbal behaviour. Marvin is the protective Parent, capable and in charge of the situation in relation to Spacek’s vulnerable, innocent Child.

Spacek is then distracted and made to feel self-conscious by the attention of the husband and wife on the table nearby. Marvin is intuitive and attentive enough to pick up on her discomfort – she does not need to say anything.

Marvin now has to face the challenge of the unwanted attentions of another male. He turns in his seat to stare back directly at the husband – a non-verbal humourless and direct challenge. The husband fairly quickly backs down and turns away to attend to his own meal. This leaves his wife still staring at Marvin. [She is also somewhat in Critical Parent]. Marvin disarms her disapproval and critical attitude by the most superb smile which he gives directly to her. She is forced, out of etiquette and good manners, to acknowledge his smile, which she does very, very briefly, before returning her attentions to her meal.

Marvin turns back to Spacek, as though the whole thing is a bit of fun and any tension is disarmed as they return to their meal, relaxed.

In his relationship with Spacek, Marvin is a Classical Man. Things to learn here:

Be smart and neat in your self presentation

Take the lead and be pro-active – be masterful and in command

Make the decisions especially if the female is uncertain – with consideration

Be aware of and use non-verbal communication

Underpin everything with relaxed humour

Always act in Parent orientation

Be intuitive and sensitive to the the female that you are with

Posted in Being a gentleman, Chivalry, Movie Male Exemplars, Older guys, Sugar Daddy | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Revolution has begun!

Men Working Together

It really is time for guys to fight back! One way or another, we have allowed women to take the upper hand – no wonder guys end up confused when it comes to relationships with females. It really is our fault – partly at least! We DID let it happen. So. Time to get organised and regroup. The male revolution has started!

Not that we dislike women, or hate women, or constantly want to criticize women. No, that’s not what we are about. But many guys have simply lost their way and find themselves bewitched, bothered and bewildered by the female in their life. First up, we need to get the information and understanding that we need in  order to relate to women properly. No woman is willing or able to teach you this stuff guys! This is man talk!

Check out the man’s pathway to Staying on top of your woman at Amazon.

Click HERE for Amazon U.K. link or search ISBN  – 9781291329742 – in U.S.A. or Europe.

Posted in Dating, Females, Girlfriends, Male female, male female relationships, Marriage, Relationships, Understanding women, Wife, Wives, Women | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment